High Hopes
by doctorgrant
Summary: Mellitz/ Fitz finally shows up for Mellie, but what has the First Lady done this time? A multi-chapter fanfic, completely AU. If you don't like/ship Mellitz, then don't read because this fanfic probably isn't for you.
1. Chapter 1

_Broken bottles in the hotel lobby_ _  
_ _Seems to me like I'm just scared of never feeling it again_ _  
_ _I know it's crazy to believe in silly things_ _  
_ _But it's not that easy._

Mellie was on her fifth drink of the night, oh hang on it was probably more like her sixth, but she shrugged because the _first drink never really counts anyway,_ she sighed at the thought, smirking slightly as she stared out into the distance. It was almost midnight and she was seated on the Truman balcony, staring up into the dark sky as she hazily attempted to count the stars.  
The looming darkness was almost like an ironic metaphor for the emptiness in her heart, the numbness of her soul and the pain in her eyes. She also noticed how there were fewer stars out in the sky than there had been on previous nights, 'kind of like the lack of light in my life' she had remarked, of course only to herself as she sipped on the intoxicating liquid, swirling it around the glass with every pause.

"Mellie", Fitz appeared, his robe was wrapped around his muscular form loosely and his eyes were squinting slightly. He walked over to her, removed the glass from her hand and placed a tender kiss against her cheek.  
"It's late", was all he could muster, his eyes had a hint of genuine kindness, a look that Mellie never got tired of seeing. She nodded in response, took one last look of the familiar surroundings and flashed a heavy smile to her husband as she followed him back inside.  
Not a single word was spoken between them as they walked over to the bed that they were supposed to share, of course sleeping together was always a hit and miss topic, even after twenty years, _sleeping together;_ even in the most innocent sense of the phrase was a foreign concept and would only really be initiated on late nights like this.  
Fitz was first to lift up the large duvet, he slipped beneath the layers and patted the bed, urging Mellie to lay beside him. His gesture puzzled Mellie, he was never usually the one to be affectionate when it came to her, but she obliged as she joined him beneath the covers, resting her head on his defined chest, whilst subconsciously allowing tears to fall, dampening his pyjama shirt slightly with every sniffle.

Fitz could tell by her silence that something was bothering her, he knew that Mellie didn't always need a valid excuse to drink, but there was definitely something in her eyes that gave her away. He could see a hint of something, very faint but heavily evident. Instead of pushing her to talk about it, he just held her, knowing that when the time was right, perhaps she would confide in him, well at least that's what he was hoping for.  
"It's going to be okay, whatever is it… it's going to be just fine. I promise", he whispered, running his hand gently through her wavy, brunette locks. She smiled at the feel of his touch, he had a way of making everything feel that little bit better, just by allowing her to be close to him in this way and by hearing his steady heartbeat with every breath was exactly the comfort that she had been so desperately yearning for, in this moment; _she was safe._

"I've screwed up. Big time, I can't really go back from this, if this is even a thing. I'm starting to really panic though, I mean every day is just a day closer to the truth", she explained, her words were very vague and Fitz was extremely confused by what she was saying, but continued to listen intently.  
"I'm late", her voice broke slightly with the revelation, the two words were almost inaudible as she turned away from him, not wanting to see the anger and disappointment in his eyes. She expected him to push her away, to increase the distance between them or to just blatantly storm off, but nothing happened. They stayed there, still wrapped up within each other's embrace for what felt like hours before he responded.  
"You don't have to go through this alone, whatever happens Mells, whatever the outcome is or whatever it isn't- we're partners remember? I have your back, I've screwed up so many times before, I'm not going to let you down again", Fitz assured, he carefully slipped out of the bed, making sure not to knock her in the process, he helped to prop her up slightly, using several pillows, he gave her drunken body some support before walking towards the door.

"I'm going to get you some water okay? Then I want you to get some sleep and I'll have Abby pick you up a test tomorrow. I trust her the most and for obvious reasons, it wouldn't be fair for me to ask Liv. I know Abby will be discrete about it and she's very fond of you Mellie, she'll be there for you, she's very loyal to us, which is definitely something we need, especially with regards to what we're dealing with. We don't have to tell anyone else, at least not until we're certain that there's something to tell," Fitz explained, he left the room and returned minutes later with a pint of water, a bucket and a damp flannel.  
With one swift movement, he placed the water on the bedside table, slipped the bucket beneath their bed as he reached out and placed the flannel on Mellie's forehead, soothing the throbbing ache that was forming, evidently present from a combination of the consummation of alcohol and the many worries and fears that the First Lady was experiencing, due to her current predicament.

 _"Goodnight."_  
 _  
_ _And in my dreams, I meet the ghosts of all the people who have come and gone_ _  
_ _Memories, they seem to show up so quick but they leave you far too soon_ _  
_ _Naïve I was just staring at the barrel of a gun_


	2. Chapter 2

The first chapter was originally intended to be a one-shot, but I was struck with inspiration which has caused me to turn this into a multi-chapter fic. I'll only update if enough people are interested in the story, I'm not certain when I'll update- but I'll try and make it a weekly occurrence at the very least. This fic is loosely based on the beautiful Kodaline song- High Hopes, hence why I have used several verses to open and close the last chapter. Definitely give the song a listen, it may help to give the piece added context and also, it's just a genuinely great song- so check that out!

I hold up my hands up guys, I know I'm not the greatest writer so if there's any mistakes, I am very sorry about that and will try and amend them ASAP. I just really wanted to write a Mellitz fanfic though, as the fandom lacks a lot of Mellitz and quite frankly, they're my absolute OTP so I just needed to express my feels in the form of fanfiction.

Enjoy x

Fitz had woken up at around 6am, he had quickly gotten suited up before heading off to sensitively talk to Abby about Mellie's little dilemma and to ask her probably one of the biggest favours he had after had to ask one of his staff members for.  
He arrived back to their room several hours later, only to find Mellie still wrapped up under the duvet, sniffling slightly as she had done the night before.  
"Mellie", his heart ached as he looked upon her fragile form, clinging to the covers to provide some form of comfort for the ache that she was feeling in her heart, Fitz wished more than anything that he could just take the pain away from her, go back to the start and do everything differently, so maybe they would have had a decent shot together, but sadly; too much had happened and the only thing that could be done now to make amends for the past was to be here in the present.  
 _To show up for her._

"Abby has agreed to get the test, she won't tell anyone- not even Liv, so until we can be certain that you really are-", he paused, as if actually saying the word aloud would make the situation more daunting, so instead he just refrained from finishing the sentence, flashing a small supportive smile as he sat on the bottom of the bed, reaching out a hand to show Mellie that he was really here and that he wasn't intending to let her go through this alone because she deserved a friend throughout all of this and that's exactly what he intended to be.  
"You do know that the likelihood of it being yours is almost impossible", Mellie stated bluntly, it was almost as if she feared that the only reason he was standing by her was because he had some preconceived idea that he was the father, when in actual fact it was more than likely Andrew's. He sighed and nodded, squeezing her hand a little as he moved closer up the bed, once again putting his arms around her.  
"Yes I know, I mean there was just that one time after a few too many drinks in comparison to the amount of nights spent with Andrew, so I'm well aware that the baby- well if there even is a baby, will be Andrew's kid, but I honestly don't care. You're my wife Mellie, I know I haven't been the best husband and I hold my hands up to that, but I made a vow and although I broke it by sleeping around, I don't believe that it's too late to stand by you as you have stood by me for all these years, I owe it to you Mells and I also owe it to myself to be the honourable man that I once was", Fitz explained, in all honesty they weren't exactly the only reasons why he wanted to be by her side, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth as to why he was being so supportive, he was a coward who couldn't even tell his own wife that he was slowly falling for her, all over again. He had been feeling it for quite some time, but due to Andrew and Liv; he just shrugged it off and dismissed it as some kind of midlife crisis and blamed the guilt of little Jerry's death and the revelation of the rape, thinking that maybe he was just fooling himself into believing that there was still something there, but the more he tried to deny it- the stronger it grew.  
Of course he still loved Liv, maybe he always would and he would be lying if he said he didn't think about her still but when it came to Mellie, his feelings were more intense, an emotion that even before their marriage started to deteriorate, he had not had the privilege of feeling. It was the weirdest of feelings, it wasn't love in the sense of warmth and happiness, it was earnest love. A brutal force of realism, knowing that he and Mellie had been through so much together and had seen their darkest of days, having experienced many over the years as a dysfunctional couple, he now realised that all her imperfections and the twisted things that they had both done throughout their marriage, all of the lies and cheating just made their relationship stronger. He could hand on heart say that even after seeing Mellie at her worst, after seeing the demons take control of her mind as she fought all of the troubles that life had thrown at them both, that he was still very much in awe of her strength and capabilities, hell he was very much in love with her and he couldn't begin to comprehend how it had taken him so long to realise it. Surely that had to count for something right?

"What are you thinking?" Mellie questioned, avoiding the topic of the pregnancy scare that had been on her mind for several days, she just wanted to forget about that for now, at least until they had a test to actually confirm or diffuse her suspicions.  
"I was just lost in thought, thinking about the past… You can go back to sleep if you want, I'll come and wake you when Abby's back", he smiled, preparing to leave their room to allow her to spend some much needed time alone, but she shook her head and called his name. Her voice was so innocent, almost child-like in its southern drawl.  
"You don't have to go. I want you to stay, please", she begged, feeling so stupid for being so needy and dependant, but having him hold her in his arms was just the best feeling in the world. It took her back to a time when she was so content and happy, a time when they could actually have a conversation without it turning into a full-blown argument - _the good old days_ , she smiled.

Fitz's phone beeped, they both jumped slightly as the sound brought them out of their daydreams. Fitz tapped on the message and read aloud as follows;

 ** _Mr. President,_**

 ** _I have the test._**

 ** _\- Abby Whelan_**

 _High hopes, it takes me back to when we started_  
 _High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again_  
 _High hopes, oh,_  
 _And the world keeps spinning_  
 _Ooh, yeah, this world keeps spinning_

 _How this world keeps spinning around_


	3. Chapter 3

OMG the Mellitz hugs from this week's episode were EVERYTHING to me.

x

Fitz took Mellie's hand, helping her out of bed as he rummaged through her closet and selected some sweat pants and an old shirt for her to wear before escorting her to his office. Abby was waiting for them both along with the tests. It didn't take Mellie long to slip on the clothes so they were at the Oval in no time, the older man couldn't help but notice how his wife couldn't stop shaking, so Fitz made sure to hold her hands tightly, caressing them with his thumb absent-mindedly, hoping that the gesture would calm her nerves a little and bring her some comfort.

Once they had arrived, Abby smiled shyly before handing the First Lady several boxes of expensive pregnancy tests, of all kinds. She awkwardly nodded in acknowledgement of the President's presence, before swiftly heading back to her duties.  
"I'm so scared", Mellie sighed, she had been dreading this moment for the past week and now it was finally here, there was no more running away or pretending- it was a definite yes or no, it was eerily real and the thought of the test being positive made her sick to her stomach, _what am I going to do,_ she bit her lip as she slipped the tests under her shirt and along with Fitz, walked back to their bathroom.

"I'll wait for you out here, take as long as you need and if you want me to be with you- just give me a shout okay?" Fitz assured, he pulled her in and kissed her warm forehead before whispering in her ear;  
 _"I love you_ ".  
Her heart melted at the sound of his words, tears slowly began to fall as she couldn't believe how supportive he was being, it was everything she had always wanted and to be going into their bathroom, taking a pregnancy test for a hypothetical baby that probably wasn't even his, knowing that he was by her side every step of the way, meant the whole world to her.  
 _He had finally showed up.  
_ She entered the bathroom, putting the tests on the sink before splashing her face and staring intently at her own reflection in the pristine mirror. She shook her head, noticing how dark the bags beneath her eyes were and she cringed at the sight of how rough the complexion of her skin had become in recent weeks, she didn't even recognise herself. _She was going to throw up._  
Quickly, she rushed over to the toilet, managing to lift up the seat before allowing the vomit to spill out into the basin. She reached out for a towel to wipe her mouth, but in the process of reaching out, she knocked several of the tests onto the floor, causing a little bang to be heard by a rather worried Fitz.  
"Mells, are you okay?" He called, knocking on the door slightly, fear crept up inside him at the sound. His fears however were short lived as she replied within seconds.  
"I'm fine, I just dropped the tests- it's o-", before she could even finish off her sentence, another wave of nausea violently struck.  
"Baby…" Fitz called, he had pushed open the ajar door and went to sit beside her on the tiled floor. He rubbed her back softly as he used his other hand to hold her hair back, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was, _even whilst knelt down over a toilet with red puffy eyes,_ she was still the most mesmerising woman he had ever laid eyes on.  
After several minutes, Mellie managed to compose herself and leant on Fitz for support. She felt completely drained from the sudden sickness, she was just so tired of it all and the results from the test were no secret, it was pretty evident what the outcome was going to be, it was just a matter of confirming it.

Fitz stood up first, sensing that the sickness had subsided for now, he helped her up and passed her the tests. He placed a hand on her aching stomach, flashing her a signature _Fitzgerald Grant_ smile as he whispered;  
"I will be here, whatever happens. I'm not going anywhere, I promise", he turned his back, giving her some much appreciated privacy as he left the room, patiently awaiting the results.  
Mellie made sure to use every single test, which of course involved a lot of peeing, but once she had covered every one, she placed them all out on the edge of the tub, calling Fitz in to come and join her as they awaited fate.  
"Can I borrow your phone? I need to put the timer on and I don't remember where I left mine", she explained, of course Fitz nodded and without any further questions, he handed her his phone and slumped down onto the floor. His back was supported by the wall as he stretched his legs, closed his eyes and hoped for Mellie's sake, that the tests were negative.

It felt like an eternity of waiting as the sound of the timer caused both Mellie and Fitz to jump slightly. They had been sat in silence, neither one daring to speak as they impatiently twiddled their thumbs and excessively gulped whilst awaiting the results.  
"I don't even want to look to be honest, I already know the answer", Mellie breathed, her stomach was in knots as she cautiously eyed the tests that were balanced on the edge of the bath tub.  
Before Mellie or Fitz had the chance to actually stand up and walk over to the tests, their attention was taken away from the tub and averted in the direction of the door. The door was wide open, almost falling off its hinges as two looming figures stood before them, their faces both stained with the same shocked expression.  
It was Cyrus Beene and Elizabeth North, they both must have been in search of the President and the First Lady, realised that nobody knew of their whereabouts and concluded that they would find them in the privacy of their room, however it was evident by the expression on their faces, looking over at the pregnancy tests spread out along the tub that the scene before them was the last thing they had expected to walk in on.  
"Oh well this is just fantastic. The last thing we need is another pregnancy scandal on our hands, _Jesus Christ_ ", Cyrus yelled, anger was radiating from him as he turned back to the master bed, grabbed a pillow and loudly screamed into the cushioned exterior.

"Well, looks like we have seven positive tests to compete with", Liz exclaimed, clearly having seen the many positive signs that flashed up on every screen.  
Mellie's voice broke, a small almost inaudible cry escaped her lips as she looked to Fitz for answers. He couldn't believe that this was really happening, the hypothetical baby was now a reality and he had absolutely no clue how to handle any of this. He knew that he wanted to be with Mellie, even after knowing that she was indeed pregnant, he still wanted a second chance with her but this whole situation was just so suffocating, his chest was getting tighter with each ragged breath and without a word, he just shot up and left a heartbroken Mellie on the floor.  
"Fitz-Fitz", she was sobbing now, she was terrified that he was freaking out and feared that maybe it was all just too much for him, the reality of it all had spooked him and she was certain that this had scared him away, for real this time. _What if this is the end?_ She had thought to herself, throwing the tests at the mirror angrily, she demanded that Elizabeth and Cyrus left the room as she climbed into the safety of their bed, buried her face into the sheets before allowing herself to cry like she had never cried before. _It was over, everything was ruined and yet again, she was the reason why.  
_ It was in that moment that she rolled over onto her phone, she picked up the device and composed a new message, selecting Fitz's contact details as she typed away, wishing that there was a middle finger emoji to perfectly emphasise her anger and outrage at his latest disappearing act;

 _FUCK YOU._

 **** _ **I wrote this chapter kind of drunk and hungry, so it's a shambles.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for all the lovely reviews, it really does put a smile on my face and encourages me to update sooner! Sending you guys lots of love, here's chapter 4.

..

Mellie had called Fitz seventeen times, she had sent him a string of unpleasant texts and by the tenth message, she had furiously decided to throw her phone against the wall, _how could he?_ He had promised her a second chance, a new start and to run away with not even an explanation as to where he was going was just the most infuriating thing he had ever done.

 _The Next Morning_

After several hours of worrying and crying, Mellie had finally decided to sleep it off. Fitz hadn't even bothered to reply or return and she was far too tired to chase after him, so she had wrapped herself up in the safety of her duvet and slept for ten hours straight. It wasn't until she felt the weight of a presence near her feet that she had awoken from her slumber, she rubbed her eyes as her vision adjusted to the brightness of the room, frowning slightly at the realisation that Fitz was back.  
"What do you want?" Mellie snapped, she was beyond pissed at how he had ran away when she needed him the most, after all the bullshit promises of starting again and being a real couple, he had just left her, alone as always.  
"Stop running from me. Stop promising the world and then realising that I'm not the one you want- be straight with me. I would rather you end this now if that's what you want, because I swear to God if you walk out on me again and not even bother to let me know where you're going or when you're coming back, you will never see me again, ever okay? I'm not going to live my life in fear that one day you'll just take off to Vermont after giving you another chance, I don't want to be with a man who hates me, because let's face it- you are only staying by my side to be the good guy, you don't give a shit about me. Let's just end this and stop pretending, I'm so done- I can't keep hurting like this, it's killing me", Mellie sobbed, her voice getting louder with each word, she was tired of the constant pain that their marriage caused and if Fitz wasn't happy, then they might as well just cut their losses before screwing up another child.  
"You stupid, beautiful, bitch, you don't get it do you? I fucking love you. I am so in love with you that it is hurting me because I couldn't protect you when you needed me the most, I was never yours because you were strong enough to pull through and you carried me, you carried us and hell you even carried this country when I couldn't. You held me up, you dusted me off and I never once returned the favour, I am so sorry for that Mellie. I was blinded by my own narcissism to realise what I had in front of me this whole time, I regret pushing you away Mells, I hate myself for it and I hate that I love you because I'm never, ever going to be able to make up for the past. I'm never going to be the man you deserve and I've been wanting to say this for the past six months, but I'm a coward and I'll always be a coward, but you make me want to be brave Mellie, you make me want to be a somebody, a person. Not just an idea, I want to be real- I want to feel things, I want you to allow me to love you like I have never loved before, I need you to trust me. I have never been so certain of what I want, but this time- and for the many times to come, I want you... Only you", Fitz yelled, he couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't hide from his feelings, he had to be honest and Mellie deserved that at the very least.  
"You- you love me?" Mellie was taken aback by his words, all this time she had assumed that his intentions were purely egotistical, but for him to stand before her and reveal his true feelings as to why he wanted another chance had completely shocked her, it was the last thing she had expected to hear him say.  
"The reason I left last night was because I got spooked, I do admit that- but that wasn't the only reason. I needed some thinking time, I needed to process everything and I wanted to clear my head and figure out how I was going to tell you all of this, it was stupid I know, but I really do love you and I am serious about starting afresh. Me, you, Teddy, the baby and Karen when she visits, we can be a real family.  
"You don't care if Andrew's the father?" Mellie questioned, not quite believing how committed he was with giving their marriage another shot.  
"No. This baby is yours, that is one thing we can be certain on and I love you, I'll be there for you and the baby- no matter what. I don't care who the father is to be honest, all this baby needs to know is that I'm going to their Daddy and I love their Mommy very much, you don't have to worry about anything Mellie, I have your back", Fitz smiled, he was warming to the idea of starting over, having a new addition to the family (even if the child wasn't biologically his), he didn't care, because anyone could be a Dad, it took a real man to be a father and that is exactly what Fitz intended to be to Mellie's unborn child, he was going to be a father and he was going to do it right this time.  
"Come here", Mellie bit her lip, all of a sudden the memories of the day before had just drifted away as all that mattered now was building a future together, the past was the past and all they could do now was move forward. She crashed her lips against his, snaking her hand around his back before pulling him down onto the bed. They carried on kissing for several minutes, neither one of them wanted to end the moment so they continued to explore each other's mouths until it was physically impossible to continue without much needed air.

"I love you _Fitzgerald Grant,_ even when you're a complete asshole. Sometimes I really do hate you, but I could never hate you as much as I love you. It's you, it's always been you. Let's just go away for a few weeks, let's take a vacation? I mean when was the last time we took a trip? This is real Fitz, we can have it all this time, I love you", Mellie beamed, she pecked his lips once again before pulling up her shirt and looking down at her stomach. It was still pretty flat, all that could be noticed was a small _barely visibly_ bump, only recognisable if you were aware of the First Lady's condition. Fitz lowered his head, he placed several kisses onto her exposed flesh, whispering to the foetus. 

" _You're going to be loved very much little one and I'm going to take good care of you and your Mommy"._

 **-**

 **Okay so I realise that this is completely AU and arguably OOC, but I just needed to write some happy Mellitz, so I hope some of you guys enjoyed it and stay tuned for more chapters!**

 **Next chapter:  
** _ **Fitz has a surprise for Mellie. Abby and Mellie have a heart-to-heart and some other characters will be introduced to the High Hopes chronicles, oh and what happens when Andrew shows up?**_

 _ **DUMMMM DUMMMM DUMMMMMM.**_


End file.
